Week 40: Bielby Checks His Watch

Bielby Time

Blet Satters Mad Hatters have just won their manager, Miss Gavin Ward, a Manager of the Week certificate.  They scored an OK-but-not-devastating 12 points in the penultimate week of the season.  They hopped up a place in the table too.

Meanwhile, Russ Bielby is at the edge of his technical area, checking his watch, taking nervous sips from a drinks bottle and turning back to his bench every now and then.  We're in injury time and his Livercoolio are 17 points ahead of second place in the league. It's all but sewn up, miracling a bar or barring a miracle, whichever you prefer. 

One more week of results to come.

And while we await the inevitable...

OFFL Cup

FINAL

Currently In Play

Malcolmyouplaysobadly  v  Radnorshire Tigers
Malcolm Pratt             Alun Edwards

Both teams enjoy the services of Zabaleta, Sigurdsson and Diego Costa so that leaves the following to battle it out for Cup glory.

Malcolmyouplaysobadly           Radnorshire Tigers
              ClubValueTotal                ClubValueTotal
==========================  ============================
GK P Cech      CHE £4.4 13  GK T Courtois    CHE £4.4 16
FB S Coleman   EVE £4.5 26  FB L Baines      EVE £4.7 34
CB L Koscielny ARS £4.5 35  CB E Dier        TOT £3.8 -3
CB J Fonte     SOT £3.8 40  CB R Vlaar       AV  £3.4 10
MF K Mirallas  EVE £4.8 23  MF S Downing     WH  £3.9 10
MF M Sissoko   NEW £4.0  8  MF J Ward-Prowse SOT £3.6 17
MF R Sterling  LIV £4.6 39  MF J Colback     NEW £3.6 24
ST A Sanchez   ARS £7.4 64  ST H Kane        TOT £5.5  5



T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      54.9  4 388
 2 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    54.3  8 371
 3 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.4  2 365
 4 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.8  5 364
 5 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.8 10 363
 6 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          53.8 11 362
 7 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.8 10 339
 8 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   52.8  9 326
 9 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       52.7 12 324
10 Which Team                Rachel Jones     55.0  1 315
11 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.1  3 306
12 Radnorshire Tigers        Alun Edwards     49.3  3 299
13 Pyeators                  Dave Clayton     54.9 10 297
14 Moobchester United        Jon King         54.3  5 285
15 Couldn't be Hyppia        Nick Reed        54.6  5 273
16 Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil      Chris Walsh      54.6 -2 266
17 A Bit Temperamintal       Minty Colquhoun  53.4  3 265
18 Didcot Rovers             Edgar Rayner     54.8  3 259
19 Moanchester Disunited     Alex Blundell    52.1 -2 253
20 It's A Snickers           Ashley Keeler    54.6 -2 252
21 Neil's Diamonds           Neil McConaghy   54.8  1 236
22 Real Mcdrid               Craig McHugh     54.8  8 217
23 Awesome Athletic          Adrian Bradley   50.2  8 147
24 Pedro's Plodders          Pete Braithwaite 46.7  0 110


                             Week's Average Points      4
                             Total Average Points     290
---

Week 22: Last Thing On A Friday

With a week's haul of 26 points it's Gavin Ward nabbing the Manager of the Week certificate [again] courtesy of Blet Satters Mad Hatters.

And that, my OFFL darlings, is that.

Well, it is last thing on a Friday.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      55.0 17 228
 2 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.0 19 226
 3 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.8 23 223
 4 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6 26 213
 5 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      53.6 17 204
 6 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    52.2 17 199
 7 Radnorshire Tigers        Alun Edwards     49.7  7 191
 8 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.7  9 188
 9 Which Team                Rachel Jones     55.0  6 188
10 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          54.2  5 185

11 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   51.7 11 174
12 Pyeators                  Dave Clayton     55.0 10 173
13 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.2 11 167
14 Moanchester Disunited     Alex Blundell    52.1  4 156
15 Moobchester United        Jon King         51.7  8 149
16 It's A Snickers           Ashley Keeler    54.6  8 148
17 Couldn't be Hyppia        Nick Reed        54.6  4 146
18 Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil      Chris Walsh      54.6  6 138
19 A Bit Temperamintal       Minty Colquhoun  55.0  0 138
20 Didcot Rovers             Edgar Rayner     54.8 13 134
21 Real Mcdrid               Craig McHugh     54.8  2 124
22 Neil's Diamonds           Neil McConaghy   54.1  4 114
23 Awesome Athletic          Adrian Bradley   50.2 -2  85
24 Pedro's Plodders          Pete Braithwaite 46.7  7  67


                             Week's Average Points      9
                             Total Average Points     164
---

Week 21: Dwarf-Tossing and OFFL Cup Group Stage Results

A scene from the controversial OFFL Christmas Party.  The [dwarf] tossers were soon ejected.

And a Happy New Year to you too.  Yes, welcome back to Studmarks, to the OFFL Cup and yet another Christmas plumbing bill for the Chairman to chew on.  Hence his bad mood.  We've all been trying to steer clear of him this week.

What's that?  Get on with it?

How dare you?

But I suppose you're right.

This year's OFFL Christmas Period has been quieter than most of those gone by meaning we, here at Studmarks and the OFFL HQ have been feeling a little flat.  Even the Umpa Lumpa Office Christmas Party didn't go off with the usual fizz, bang and wallop - though the ejection of the gate-crashing dwarf-tossers delivered swift excitment - however short-lived.

And talking of dwarves [not tossers], Gavin Ward* fully deserves his Manager of the Week certificate by dint of his awkwardly monikered Blet Satters Mad Hatters nibnabbing themselves 23 points.  Congratulations, Sir.

But how did that help him in the OFFL Cup?

---
*Not a dwarf either

OFFL Cup

Results, Group Stage

Bottom team of each group is knocked out.

Group A                       Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Inter Milandrover             54.2    35   7   42
  Livercoolio                   55.0    28  10   38
  It's A Snickers               54.6    19  -4   15 

Group B                        Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Blet Satters Mad Hatters      54.6    25  23   48
  Malcolmyouplaysobadly         54.8    19   6   25
  Real Mcdrid                   54.8    15   2   17

Group C                        Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Irishpool                     54.8    38   2   40
  A Bit Temperamintal           55.0    29   0   29
  RS-TBOY                       52.2    19   6   25

Group D                       Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Pyeators                      55.0    23  11   34
  Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil          50.0    21   8   29
  Which Team                    55.0    21  -1   20

Group E                       Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Johnny's Heroes               54.0    33  11   44
  Moanchester Disunited         52.1    26  -2   24
  Didcot Rovers                 55.0    10   0   10

Group F                       Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  The Flying Geese              54.2    30   2   32
  Not In Your Mum's Forest      54.7    18  12   30
  Neil's Diamonds               54.1    24  -2   22

Group G                       Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Couldn't be Hyppia            54.6    24   6   30
  Botley Yellow                 51.7    24   1   25
  Awesome Athletic              50.2    13   6   19

Group H                       Value  Wk20 Wk21 Total
----------------------------------------------------
  Moobchester United            51.7    23  17   40
  Radnorshire Tigers            49.7    25  10   35
  Pedro's Plodders              46.7     9   0   9

Commiserations go to Pete Braithwaite, Adrian Bradley, Neil McConaghy, Edgar Rayner, Rachel Jones, Rick Beecroft, Craig McHugh and Ashley Keeler.  You're all useless and The OFFL Cup will NOT be shining its glorious silver-glare anywhere near your trophy cabinets this year.  As far as the cup competition is concerned you're dead to us.

As far as the league is concerned though, you're all very much alive, kicking and welcome.  In fact, here is the Manager of the Month standings for December.  Not surprisingly, the Manager of the Month was Sarah Bielby.  She scored a massive 83 points for the month.

Massive.  Unlike her.  Who is petite, slim and perfectly-sized.

And so say all of us.

Moving on.

Manager of the Month for December

Lge
Pos                             Value  Dec
------------------------------------------
 2 Johnny's Heroes              54.0    83
 5 Irishpool                    54.8    72
17 It's A Snickers              54.6    67 out
 8 Which Team                   55.0    62 out
13 The Flying Geese             54.2    60
 1 Livercoolio                  55.0    60
 3 Malcolmyouplaysobadly        54.8    58
 6 Radnorshire Tigers           49.7    57
 4 Blet Satters Mad Hatters     54.6    57
18 A Bit Temperamintal          55.0    56
14 Moanchester Disunited        52.1    55
22 Neil's Diamonds              54.1    53 out
19 Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil         50.0    51
21 Didcot Rovers                55.0    50 out
 9 Inter Milandrover            54.2    49
15 Couldn't be Hyppia           54.6    46
10 Not In Your Mum's Forest     54.7    46
20 Real Mcdrid                  54.8    45 out
11 Botley Yellow                51.7    43
 7 RS-TBOY                      52.2    43 out
16 Moobchester United           51.7    39
12 Pyeators                     55.0    39
23 Awesome Athletic             50.2    29 out
24 Pedro's Plodders             46.7    21 out

A noticeably bad month for RS-TBOY and Inter Milandrover you'll all be pleased to see, I'm sure.  All except Rick Beecroft and Smasher of course.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Livercoolio               Russ Bielby      55.0 10 211
 2 Johnny's Heroes           Sarah Bielby     54.0 11 207
 3 Malcolmyouplaysobadly     Malcolm Pratt    54.8  6 200
 4 Blet Satters Mad Hatters  Gavin Ward       54.6 23 187
 5 Irishpool                 Mike Smears      54.8  2 187
 6 Radnorshire Tigers        Alun Edwards     49.7 10 184
 7 RS-TBOY                   Rick Beecroft    52.2  6 182
 8 Which Team                Rachel Jones     55.0 -1 182
 9 Inter Milandrover         Smasher          54.2  7 180
10 Not In Your Mum's Forest  Sarah Bingham    54.7 12 179

11 Botley Yellow             Stanley Wilson   51.7  1 163
12 Pyeators                  Dave Clayton     55.0 11 163
13 The Flying Geese          Mandy Noble      54.2  2 156
14 Moanchester Disunited     Alex Blundell    52.1 -2 152
15 Couldn't be Hyppia        Nick Reed        54.6  6 142
16 Moobchester United        Jon King         51.7 17 141
17 It's A Snickers           Ashley Keeler    54.6 -4 140
18 A Bit Temperamintal       Minty Colquhoun  55.0  0 138
19 Obi Wan - Kenobi Nil      Chris Walsh      50.0  8 132
20 Real Mcdrid               Craig McHugh     54.8  2 122
21 Didcot Rovers             Edgar Rayner     55.0  0 121
22 Neil's Diamonds           Neil McConaghy   54.1 -2 110
23 Awesome Athletic          Adrian Bradley   50.2  6  87
24 Pedro's Plodders          Pete Braithwaite 46.7  0  60


                             Week's Average Points      5
                             Total Average Points     155
---